Centrally Bungling Investigators

Dearest CBI,

Everybody is talking about your ‘utter failure’ to prove the case against Shibu Soren. Don’t worry; I’m not writing to say the same thing. In fact, I sympathise with you. Shibu Soren is a politician, and so what if you’re an investigating agency? He can still help you, and you really should be accepting his help. And so what if he’s already facing charges in the massacres of 1975?

What I actually wanted to ask you is why are you being so unfair to Mr.Sahay? He is one of you, just as fair and human. and he did nothing that is out of the ordinary in your organisation – he just took bribes to bury a murder case! Who cares if 18 year old Tapasi Malik was burned and murdered? She’s dead now. Just like Priyadarshini Mattoo. Mattoo got justice even without much of your help in a short span of 11 years, didn’t she? And besides Mr.Sahay is supposed to retire on August 31st; let him just enjoy the 2.2 crores hes has in excess!

Talking of Priyadarshini Mattoo, how on earth did you guys manage to hide that stinky, broken helmet of Santosh Kumar Singh? The murderer must have wanted it very badly! I appreciate the measures you took for keeping it safe – I’m sure not bringing it to court and submitting it to the judge was one of those measures.

And also, a pat on the back for standing your own and not taking up that dowry harassment case against Arjun Singh and his family. It was, as you rightly mentioned, too simple a case to be taken up by the CBI! Not to forget, he is the HRD minister. Who knows, he probably might have had some reverse reservations put in place for your kids if you guys had taken up the case…….

I hope this letter finds all 4618 of you, including Mr. Sahay is in good health. If the other 1321 posts get filled by any chance, please do convey my regards to the newcomers as well.

And really folks, don’t blame yourselves for all the ‘mistakes’. After all, you’re only just the topmost investigating agency of ‘secular’ and ‘democratic’ India.

– An Indian -.

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