Boomerang – The Quitting Conundrum

(The core idea of this piece was from my classmate and friend Sahaj)

No. Not today. Hey! One would do not harm! You already have been such a nice boy. Maybe. Yes, one would do no harm. I’ll have one. I walk down to the nearby general store. “Uncle, one milds”. Light, puff and the body is at peace. It has finally got its daily dose of nicotine.

This war between Jayant and Jayant has been going on since a year now. It all began with my ‘have to experience everything at least once’ phenomenon. Slowly the phenomenon dissipated and I was done with the habit. Trouble started when the exams came and I became hooked to cigarettes for studying the entire night. Never got off it again. You were never addicted. You are still not an addict. You can leave any day you want. Yes! My will power is as strong as Hercules. The day I decide something from the bottom of my heart is ‘the’ day. Light, puff, relief.

Winston Churchill. He lived for 90 years. He was a smoker too. But what about the thousands of people who die of smoking every year! Jayant, Jayant, JAYANT!! How dare you compare yourself to others! You are born different. You’ll live. Yes, I am born different. I control the habit, the habit doesn’t control me. Light, puff, relief.

It has been two years. That control was an illusion. Was it? YES! It was! I think a superior level of will-power is required. I have difficulty in breathing at night. I have to put a full stop to this disgusting habit of mines. I smoked as I made strategies to quit smoking. Had a break up. It was partially due to the habit. I was depressed. In that depression, I smoked. Over the months I forgot her. In the joy of that, I smoked.

One fine day I had enough. I meditated. I had a shower. After a brisk walk in the evening I decided that I will never smoke again. I looked at myself in the mirror. Tears came out of my eyes. I have given enough trouble to the body which my mother brought up with such care. I swore to myself. It was a nice feeling. I was reborn.

Some days later I had a visitor. Hi Jayant. Light, puff, relief.

17 Comments

  1. One Jayant and the other Jayant! Do we have just two selves or even more? Points to ponder, as the earlier anonymous said.

  2. One self represents life force; the other death force. One takes us to positive attitude, good health, radiance and success; the other to darkness, negativity, sickness and failure. This piece really explains life. Please keep writing and exploring your potential. All the best!

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