for all those letters i wrote and never posted,
for all those words i thought but never said,
for every moment that you wasted waiting for me,
for every dream you dreamt, left unfulfilled by me,
for that life you lived for the both of us,
i want to give something back,
but there isn’t very much going for me,
so all i want, for once, is to die for you.
a love so intense, can never be unrequited,
feelings only i felt, but never exhibited,
moments that i cherish, but can never recall,
i want to leave something to speak of it.
some speak, but never do.
you said i did neither.
now i want to speak, and i promise i’ll do.
for all that hurt i caused, i want to die for you.
a certain something pulchritudinous.
inexplicable, undeniably powerful,
ironical, perverse yet pure,
a truth that was lost, found, and lost again.
a desire i have to prove myself,
to show i wasn’t who you thought i was.
but i can’t anymore, you are lost.
so an answer, an end, i want to die for you.
no love any longer, only realization.
sometimes it is best incomplete, to remain existent.
perhaps it wasn’t to be, perhaps better that way.
i don’t believe it, for it was so right,
and now i want to lose myself in you, to find you.
you, beyond you, that close i want to be.
you, beyond Him, so much i want to possess you.
you, beyond death, my truth, i want to die for you.