Of Love. And Love Lost – Kanika Mishra

Solitary, she sat on her chair by the fireplace

Disheartened, dismayed, discouraged.
The candles burned out, darkness befell
Outside, tenacious thunder raged.

Her world was this, this one tiny room,
Her entire life a cruel farce,
Her belief in love twisted until broken,
Reasons for living her cursed life sparse.

By the tattered desk she sat and stared
Into oblivion, cold and warm
While the window shutters flared into activity
Announcing the arrival of impending storm.

She couldn’t hear the noises, her senses deadened
By the stodgy silence that consumed her soul
Minute by minute, hour by hour
In her spirit, the darkness burned a hole.

Then there was a flash, a miracle, fresh hope
Her indisposed eyelids fluttered
Once, then once again, in an unfamiliar rhythm,
Her memories no more shuttered.

They were right there, all those faces
The very many faces she’d loved all her life,
Smiling time-honored smiles, arms wide, calling to her
Her husband, her baby, her father and his wife.

She ignored the tiny conscientious voice,
Instead ran at them, her gait light
The fire crackled merrily, the skies cleared
With unshed tears, her eyes alight.

As time sank into nothingness,
The windows quieted down to stare
At the strange old woman that tumbled, then fell
Lips half open like a fish’s, of her setting unaware

She stood up with a jerk, hair mussed,
One hand dejectedly raised,
Pointing at one spot on the empty wall
Face crumpled, eyes hazed

Where did they go? She turned one way then the other
She yelled, screamed, howled, hollered; bereaved,
Sank down onto the floor, eyes red, hair wild,
She clutched the unruly strands and heaved

She pulled out tufts of strawberry-curls,
Grabbed her stomach, tore her gown,
Rolled hither and thither, stood up, ran around
Pushed the ink bottle off the table, again fell down

Stubbornly got up, kicked the chair away
Ran from room to room, calling, pulling, searching, abandoned
The shadows on her wall looked on in mock sympathy
Whispering words she couldn’t hear, all inhibitions shunned.

She saw them again, just a flash, drifting through the concrete
Her baby turned, eyes on hers, amused by this new game
She ran after them, banged into the wall,
Unfazed she ran all the same.

Her mother smiled, wrinkled, beautiful,
Her father beckoned from behind,
Her husband just stared until she could feel
a blush creep up her face; warming heart, soul, and mind.

She walked in a trance, memories flooding her brain,
Needing, wanting, pushing, forlorn;
The wall lifted its mighty hands and pushed her to the floor
But this time when she got up, they were gone.

She lay on the ground, too tired to wake,
The clock on the wall ticked its censure,
Possessed, she ran to the fireplace,
And stuck her hands in the tiny disclosure.

Roared her agony, pinched her face
Let the anger out, punched a hole in the wall
Flirted with the embers of wood, hands aflame,
While clouds gathered in the sky outside, dripping silent tears over it all

She writhed, she stiffened,
She laughed, she cried,
She pulled at her eyelids, she soothed them,
She gave up, she tried.

Then she saw him. Yes, him. He was running her way
She held out her burning hands, her eyes would leave him never,
They were one again, while fire enclosed them
Binding them into the embrace forever.

Her stinging eyes took his beauty in,
Her baby, her Fay, crawled to her leg and held on for life
She heard stifled sobs and turned around
By the fireplace were her father and his wife.

Heaven and earth reunited, as this little world became whole again
Lighting crashed, raindrops danced,
The embers of the candlelight sparkled bright
The curtains with the shadows on the wall pranced.

He held her close whilst they both melted,
Whispering silent promises of forever in her ears,
The glorious flame wove a net around the five,
While the windows rattled, table shook, wall crumbled-with unshed tears.

The sun took over from the moon and stars,
The clouds were drained, the fireplace a mound of soot.
Tiny sparrows mourned the charred remains of an old friend,
A nightingale vanished with a last hoot.

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