Sinister Fragments – Abhineet Pandey

I recall the innocent smiles
Those blazing eyes, the piercing gaze
All in a haze as I rewind my memories
A garden, a deserted street just you and me
A feeling such I never felt
Flying through the emerald sky
Diving in the deepest sea
I hold your hand and a will to live
The purpose of existence overcomes the harshness
The thoughts spread in me like some disease
I can contain it no longer
In this hour of despair
When the truth comes crashing all around
In front of my eyes
I see the world we built
The dwelling of dreams and enchanted love
Devoid of suffering and cruel demons
Who petrify hope and lust for grief
How we built through our own thoughts
And as some great death chime of a clock
I rise from a reverie of regret and sorrow

I recall the promise of eternal love
And forever togetherness
The divine ring that bound us two
The vow to never give up this life
How, I cannot explain to myself
Could I be the one who shed your blood?
Life was playing the perfect story
And the next thing I see you dead in my embrace
My hands are soaked and red
I draw elixir from your ebbing life
Clawing at your insides
The devilish flame and purpose raring inside me
It goes as soon as it comes
Was it me who committed this sin?
Who’s slain a loved one to be immortal?
The fury builds in me again
Sprouting fangs of evil
The dry rose which I hold close to my heart
Turns into a snake ready to strike
All happiness gone and a monster resurfaces
Born from the ashes of horror
I devour on your soul ravage through your core
I commit atrocity one after the other
I don’t deserve to be human
I deserve to be damned
The sinister being still lives within
He must be caged he must be banished
I am myself again overcome by grief
It’s raining and as I try to find out what I really am
The drops evaporate at my skin
I rise through the air like smoke on wind
A surreal surrounding builds
My own breath engulfs me like fog
The spirits of love hurl fire at me
Curses are screeched through the eerie silence
I see thousands eyes glaring at me through the dark
I scarcely notice the hatred they possess
For the eyes I seek in yours I find
Amidst a thousand others
The sorrow and mistrust they spelt
I try to explain a deed which is mine … but still unfamiliar
The bitterness of the surroundings doesn’t affect me
It’s your eyes that haunt me still
A faith betrayed by a wicked self
And I am condemned to hell
Unlike the one which is known
Neither fire nor brimstone stalks this place
It’s just me and my two faced soul
The conflict and grief is worse than falling through the deepest pits
Or crawling along the darkest paths
The battle between good and evil
I cannot live with this pain anymore
Rip me off whatever I have
My being, pride, self respect and life
Break them into a million pieces
I kneel down and scream
Heaven seems to have stopped giving answers
I run myself through with a knife
It melts for it too can’t bear my wicked touch
As the anguish finally conquers my escaping will
The flame of life extinguishes
I welcome death with open arms
And before departing into nothingness I say to him :
“In the next life make me what I wanted to be, but still never was”
Just as the words escape my lips
A shadow emerges from inside me
I turn around to see where its destination lies
With a chill I find your eyes spelling fear unknown
The shadow advances towards you hissing :
“Evil has won over good. No protector remains … only destruction reigns. The hounds shall feed on life’s worth. No love shall remain to symbolize this prophecy. I have returned … to kill you in death”