This year's workout tips include bending your knees, correctly applying hand wraps and eating masala dosa's backwards while blindfolded.
You will come up with the funniest punch line to the joke: 'An engineer, a light bulb and Manmohan Singh walk into a bar' of all the star signs in the 7th month of thus year.
Don't blame it on the good times, the night time or even the boogie until the 7th of next month.
Your destiny is starting to compute.
(Of course we assume that you already know this is just a satirical take and we attempt to be equally offensive to everyone )