Attention ketchup connoisseurs: straight dope on that goop

Have you ever wondered why ketchup bottles are tall and thin, and mustard bottles are short and fat? Well, before you try and come up with some Freudian implication, there is a simple explanation. The real crucial point at hand, however, is not the size of the bottle; it is the size of the mouth.

After years of scientific research, physicists under contract with condiment manufacturers have made the startling discovery that while people use a knife to dab mustard on their food, most of us smear ketchup all over our food straight out of the bottle.

The reason for this is that mustard is a highly pungent substance that can cause convulsions and even death if used to excess. Ketchup on the other hand, is more benign.

The H.J. Heinz Company, however, did put out a wide mouth ketchup bottle on the market in 1966, but it was a complete flop. The idea behind this world shaking innovation was that people would want to use ketchup by the spoonful for recipes that called for it. The geniuses at Heinz, however, overlooked the fact that there are no such recipes, except those that require a tomato glaze. In that case though, most people use tomato paste.

It is interesting to note that quite a few dishes that call for sauces, dressings and what not use mustard.

At any rate, French’s; the world leader in mustard; does make a bottle with a narrow mouth The reason being restaurant owners want to keep their customers grubby little hands out of the jar.

Remember, we here at ManipalBlog keep you up to date on all matters of supreme importance, so think about that when you are drowning your French fries and onion rings in ketchup.

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